it's winter now
what's the world like now
asked my father from his bed
and my mother there next to him
lying still, nearly dead
it's winter now, i tell them
the trees they have shed
but their leaves are a carpet
on the floor of our forest

i love how they rustle
as i walk through their stories
each one a cosmos,
the lifetimes they hold
each leaf a land
of magnificent cathedral
and mazes of whorls that belong
to that leaf and no other
the river is cold and her song
rolls in air
such silence and abundance
still, yet in motion
air dances with cheek
birds dancing with air
everything muted
shades of silver and grey
birches lurching like ghosts
a party of the dead
all talking and laughing
each one with a story
the whole forest, dad,
is just infinite stories,
because as soon as one finishes,
another begins
you'll be one of those stories soon
you already are
we are already dirt
and we are so beautiful as dirt
when our fingers are ash and our bones are dust
and our blood is dry and our corpse is a gift
and the earth eats our offering
and trees drink with their limbs
when our lungs stop inflating
bronchioles withered and shrivelled
like the leaves that have fallen
every crinkle of oak
and the shades that they turn
as i hold them to Sun
now gold now ochre
in the soft gasp of air
and I watch as the breeze
travels thru town
brushing souls as their leaves
fall to the ground
cascade thru the air
tumbling soft
as if distant from time
as if held quite aloft
as if taking these moments in their final descent
as a prayer to honour the lives that they led
you too will tumble, land, rustle on floor
among the dead shapes of others
with corpse of grandmothers
sinking, returning,
with the soles of my feet
every contour and curve
writhes with the earth
draws circles and suns
as the soil lifts and hums
and i breathe in her nectar,
awakened from slumber
I can't tell you
how delicious
the mud tastes
in my mouth
that's how the world is now, dad
it may sound familiar
and yet it has changed
because no two of those leaves
will be the same shape tomorrow
forever shifting and waving
I could cry when i think
that This Really Is It
this moment the last
that will ever exist
and yet then,
there's another
Unique, of itself,
with just as lovely a flavour
and its own safety to savour
so i take comfort in knowing
these cycles go on
and i love every moment,
every sight, every smell
and i know, dad, you'll be gone soon
and mother, you too
back to earth, back to soil
and I'll weep when you do
but please know, while I'll miss you
you live on in me
in my blood and my eyes and in every single tree
we are never forgotten
our children remember
every line they inspect on their grandfather tree
every cloud they point out in the canvas of sky
every acorn they pick from the fruit bearing earth
every morsel they eat that's been fed by the rain
every moment they pause
with Sun on their skin
their bodies remember
every ancestral aching
aching with the joy of being in dance
with the miracle and play
of earthly abundance
Daddy, I'll miss you
Mummy, i love you
but you'll never be far
you'll always be with me
be in peace, go in peace
you have nothing to fear
My life is a prayer now
a dance in your honour
every moment i wake
and every moment i dream
is with you
and all our mothers,
and fathers, and siblings
My life and this body are a sacred ceremony
to do all that was meant
in earthly testimony
the sun will still shine
the moon will still rise
and we're in that mix somewhere
we're all there, rejoicing
audio: https://soundcloud.com/kakinoshita/infinite-stories-wav